If you read Emily’s post you know that we were in Florida this past week doing some prison ministry. This was the third or fourth year we’ve gone to Florida to sing in the prisons. I’m going to be honest, before this week, sure I was a christian, I knew God was there, but I thought he was distant, that he didn’t really watch what I did, he didn’t care about my everyday life. I found sayings like, “Well Jesus fixed it,” or “It was a God thing,” cheesy. I didn’t understand how anyone could actually feel like that. Before this year, I had liked the prison crusade because of the singing, and the travel, I hadn’t really noticed what God was doing. On Wednesday afternoon, as we arrived at the hotel, I was looking forward to this crusade for those same reasons, I didn’t really think about what God could do. Wednesday night, we went to the church for a rally, to get us all hyped about the crusade. A man came forward to preach, but before he started, he played the song, Lord I Need You, over the speakers. I felt something in my heart, maybe it was God telling me to admit that I really did need him. The man spoke about three things that night, Recognizing we have an enemy, and who that enemy is, recognizing who we are, and recognizing who God is. Throughout the service, I found myself, not bored, like I normally was in church, but really listening. At the end of the service, he played the song again, and did an altar call. I was crying. I really did need God, I couldn’t do life on my own. I realized that. After that, we sang a few songs. I don’t really remember what songs we sang, only that I did something I had never done before, I raised my hands and really worshiped God. I had always been afraid to do that, I was afraid of what my friends would think. I felt like I was too young for that type of thing. While we went into prisons, I saw, among the inmates and volunteers, people who were on fire for Jesus, and I found some of that same fire in me. I want to do whatever God calls me to without fear. With God inside me, I have the power to do whatever he calls me too.
Month: December 2019
When Things Go Wrong
Hello from the sunny South!
Our family is currently in Florida doing prison ministry, and tonight, we went to give a program for a re-entry center about an hour from our motel. I was kinda excited for our first program, and check-in and security went more smoothly than usual.
Unfortunately, the rest of the evening wasn’t as smooth. Pretty much our whole family is struggling with colds at the moment. Nothing terrible, but runny noses, scratchy voices, and bad breath support–none of which are great for singing. My ears were also closed for most of the night.
Thanks to these issues (and the amount of time we didn’t spend practicing before coming this year), basically everything went wrong during that program. At least that’s how it seemed to me, though in all honesty I’m a bit of a perfectionist in my opinion of how our programs should sound. But this one was worse than usual. We got off-key. We missed chords. We sang songs too slow. We sang songs too fast. We missed cues. The men clapped, but I cringed.
The worst happened during the second to last song, my only lead. I had pushed for us to sing that song, and I was excited for it. Maybe God needed to humble me or something, because as I got to the bridge, I realized that the rest of my music was missing. I had the first five pages, and after that … nothing.
Callie saw the problem and came over to help, but before we figured out where my music had disappeared to, I ran out of notes to play. I had no choice but to stop mid-line. My dad started talking, stalling for time as Callie flipped furiously through the pages, searching for my missing music.
The men laughed and clapped for us when we finally found the music, and I was able to finish the song, but it was discouraging. After all, the program before this point hadn’t gone particularly well, and now, on top of that, I had just wrecked my only lead.
Our last song was another piano song, Andrew Peterson’s Is He Worthy…
and the spirit of worship during that song blew me away.
As we finished the first chorus, the crowd erupted in cheers and applause at the declaration that Jesus is worthy. We kept singing, but my mood had changed with their applause. Something about hearing the whole room echoing with affirmation, especially in a place like that.
When we finished, the men gave us a standing ovation as we went to take our seats.
Isn’t it amazing, the ways God can use us? From my view, our program was a failure, especially my song. But it wasn’t me that mattered, it was God. And God decided to use our goof-ups, our mistakes, and our “failures” to deliver the most important message to a group of people who desperately needed it.
In some ways, that’s the most exciting things about serving God. God isn’t looking for perfect people to come and do his work. He just needs willing people to come and do what He asks. And when we do that, He works. Even when we’re off-key. Even when we’re sick. Even when we lose our music and it’s embarrassing.
God still uses us.
And that blows me away.